Friday, March 16, 2018
Friday, March 9, 2018
Where to start...first I should just say out right, I didn't like this one; but wasn't just because it was an out and out bad horror film; I didn't like because it could not seem to decide what it wanted to be. It took itself too seriously, in that the script called for twists that any self-respecting cannibal flick would avoid at all costs. I was 1/3 of the way through and I still felt like I was watching some combination of Twilight mushed up with an episode of Harper's Island; even after the infection starts to take hold (which looks for all the world like demon possession for the longest time--which Weena was into), it just seemed like Patient Zero, the third Cabin Fever film, was added to the mix. And since I am making film comparisons, I should also mention that the character of John Wheeler (Ian Collins) could have been a great vehicle for the script to finally get somewhere, because yes, I am comparing the potential of this film to be something like Get Out (I know, I know--it's not really a fair move on my part, but I had to say it anyway), but the character is not fleshed out (yeah, I went there..) enough to save the film from mediocrity. Could have been a decent teen or young adult exploitation film if all the lab stuff was left off. Really, this one was just all over the map and ultimately went nowhere. Weena, though, gives it Two Paws of approval, because there is a ton of screaming and crying...and she's part cenobite--she loves good suffering!
Yes, this is a Dolph Lundgren film! I admit I was doing some eye-rolling when this one came up (in case any one might be wondering where all these horror gems are coming from, they mostly come from a list compiled from tooling around the Internet Car Movie Database, homepage here). I was ready for this to be BAD, in a bad way! It didn't disappoint in cheesiness for sure; but it made such good fun of itself as film, that I found myself really enjoying it. Yes, it's a vehicle for an aging action star...but it's also a demon movie set in a small town in Mississippi (Chickory Creek)...and honestly, I've seen far worse in Mississippi...it ain't a nice place (sorry to anyone living there who might read this). And...yes, it does have an "explain the rules" section, where you learn all the rules for this particular demon (parallel dimension aka it's a bad place and people with bloodlines and stuff), but from there it picks up and becomes quite fun. I particularly enjoyed the shooting scene, where everyone from grandma to accountants go bat shit crazy with every manner of fire arm shooting at anything that might be possessed [good musical selection there]. The dead-pan humor of Lundgren as Jebediah Woodley was also appreciated, Exorcist joke and all. For what it is: a silly, lower-budget, action horror film--it delivered. Now, Weena loves a good demon flick (!!), but she was Meh on this one. We will just have to agree to disagree! 🙀
This is one that we watched some weeks back; I didn't have any time to write anything about it--so we gave it another whirl today...though I don't know why! There was nothing much to say about it then, and there isn't really today either. It's a Tonino Ricci film, under the Anglicized name of Anthony Richmond, from 1982 about a mad scientist who accidentally turns himself into a barely scary monster. It's meant to be one of those "it got loose in the sewers" films, only the sewers in question are supposed to be in London...England...and they are clearly not (at first blush they look Italian, and there is even mention of "Roman sewers" in the film....uh um, there are NO Roman sewers in London...but upon looking up locations, it turns out the sewers in question were actually filmed in Spain). The monster in question is only visible at the end of the film, and I think I am safe in saying this without spoilers; sure, there is a lot of monster noises and banging on doors and such throughout the film, but not much else. For me, this is really, really cheap Fulci territory--and I am a huge fan of Lucio Fulci--without any of the cheeky charm of his films, and all of the bad Italian sound and post-production dub, with a little extra tediousness about the dangers of modern environmental science thrown in for good measure. Weena, on the other hand, liked it the first time around, but not so much the second time...so I would say #TheHorrorLovingCat gives it one paw of approval because she loves a film with lots of yelling!